Just Before Spring

I spent all of February saying that it is quite possibly the hardest month to get through, but March is proving me wrong. We had a pretty wild winter storm this past Tuesday. It landed the littles and I at my parents’ house. My husband had to work and planned to stay with a coworker to ride out the storm that night, and while he was missed, the coziness of being with my parents in my childhood home was something I truly needed. I needed it because I’ve been feeling awfully glum lately, for lack of a better word. Not quite depressed, not quite anxious, states of mind I’m all too familiar with, but in a full funk, and I hadn’t been able to pull myself out of it. The prospect of nearly two more feet of snow landing in my yard, which is already (in some parts) thigh deep, pushed me deeper into an emotional hibernation that was quickly becoming intolerable.

Despite my disgust with the weather and dreams of the warmer months to come, hunkering down with my children, sitting with some knitting, sewing, and chocolate, and chatting with my mum provided me with so much healing. It’s so easy to forget while we’re in the thick of life and winter that we need warmth and caring, to feel the closeness of our family. Though I don’t wish to live in those days of hardship where families had to come together simply to survive, I can more fully appreciate the relief they must have felt knowing they were together and could provide shelter and nourishment for one another. And as so many cultures around the world prepare for the celebration of new life risen, I can more fully appreciate the sacredness of these holy days.

This morning, though frightfully cold, rose up golden with the faintest promise of warm weather to come. I went for a long walk and returned home refreshed, as though I had just plunged into a lake after a long and hot afternoon. These cold, still-dark months, with the knowledge that warm weather and the freedom it brings is just around the corner (but still out of reach), are hard ones, but they are easier when I take time to refresh myself and to pull my family in close.

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